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Now, I'm writing this under the assumption that there is still a chance, a chance that neither of us really wholeheartedly believe in or would even be willing to admit the existence of. But, I just can't wrap my mind around what this inbetween stage could be. What are you learning? What about this is beneficial to the our maybe, possibly, could be future together? What do I do in the meantime?
The whole thing is demotivating. I want to give up on this, on us, and on you. I want to move on. I want to see what else is out there. But, even when I do... my heart is still stuck on you.
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God, make this worthwhile. Reassure me. Lead me to places in Scripture where you have provided comfort, wisdom, knowledge, and show me places where you have granted your followers a patience, grace, and forgiveness that mimics Yours. God, give me confidence if this is worth waiting on. Grant me freedom from this if it's not.
Thank you for Your love and You're willingness to give me the things I ask for within reason. Continue to bless this summer, help me to know your commands in my mind and keep them in my heart. You are so awesome, Father. I don't deserve to be anywhere near Your splendor and majesty. May I live my life as a sacrifice to Your strength, beauty, and wonder. Exalt yourself with my actions, thoughts, and desires.
I love you.
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