Exodus:thewayout

There is a way out.

It's quite the statement. Sometimes, I doubt the amount of truth in that statement, though. Sometimes, it feels as if there is no way out, and I am destined to spend my entire life wandering towards nothing. For me, right now is one of those sometimes. I have been stuck here, in this place of anxiety, of fear, of sadness, of loneliness, of inadequacy for months now... and I still don't see the way out. I've tried reading Scripture, praying more often, journaling, blogging, opening up to others for advice, reading books about brokenness, and still nothing. I still feel as if I am lost in the wilderness.

I watched Coastal's service online this morning, and Jim Pace was the guest speaker. I always like listening to him talk. He uses humor, but he doesn't lose track of what he's saying. He's insightful and relevant. And this morning, he was convicting and challenging. He did some sort of mix between talking about Exodus and his book, "Should We Fire God?" (which I am going to be ordering in the next few days..) His message challenged me to see myself as one of the Israelites. In Exodus, the Israelites were enslaved by the Egyptians. They cried out to God and asked for freedom, and God responded. That blows my mind. I think I make everything to be much more complicated than is necessary. But, in reality, it's so simple. They called out to Him, and He immediately started to move. The gears started turning. God was doing work!

One of the things Jim said that really caught my attention and opened this "historical account" up for new interpretation was that we need to place ourselves within the story, because as outsiders have an unfair advantage. We know exactly how the story ends. We know they get out, and it's easy for us to look at the Israelites and see them as ungrateful, unfaithful, and therefore we lose our ability to relate to them - to learn from them.

Looking at my own life with this fresh perspective is such a comfort. I can be confident knowing that when I call out to the Lord, He hears me. Not only does He hear me, but He immediately starts to move... I just might not have noticed. I don't think that after the Israelites made their plea to God that they were given a tangible way of knowing that they were heard. I don't think the ground shook. I don't think God wrote it across the sky, and I don't think anyone came by with a "delivery confirmation". So why am I expecting some grandiose sign confirming the same thing - that I was heard and my plea didn't get lost somewhere on the way to God.

See that's the problem. I put limits on God. I restrict the places, the ways, and the tools that He can use to reach out and provide, help, comfort, love, change, and, ultimately, grow me. I know what I expect, and when God acts in a way that is different or God asks me to do something I feel like I shouldn't have to do, I feel like it's all wrong. But really all He is doing is asking, "Are you willing to trust me, and follow me, even when I'm not doing it your way, because you know I'm doing something amazing?"

Am I? Am I willing to give up on my own expectations and let God have free range to guide me in whatever way He chooses to my own personal Promised Land? Jim ended his message with something that really stuck with me.... The Israelites got to their destination by the grace of God, not because they did it right the entire way. I can't expect for my journey to be any different. There will be times when I get it wrong, and times when I'm downright stupid, and times with I inflict more pain on myself. BUT... am I willing to believe and trust that no matter what I do and no matter how many times I stumble, that my God is wise enough, strong enough, caring enough, giving enough, and faithful enough to show me an Exodus - a way out - from my situation and get me to my Promised Land whatever it takes?